Happy birthday to my blog!

Heyloo!!!

I'm starting early with the celebrations for the one year birthday of my blog!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAYYY!

Now, on with the serious stuff! My life! It's been pretty... Calm! No new men, no new women, no partying (or barely!), just normal everyday life stuff like going to Strabucks with friends, going over to my friend's house to lounge on her terrasse drinking a beer or three and getting a major sunburn, going to the waterfront and lounging there too with Benoit, driving around and getting lost, going to visit my dad... The only major thing that's happened is the unfortunate death of a cegep classmate and fellow CSL student, Laurent Gougoux. Chances are, you knew him! We all did... He was implicated in sooo many things, it's impossible NOT to know him! Well, this goes out to his family so they know that they are in my prayers.... :(

You probably noticed in the paragraph above this one that I mentionned Benoit. Well, we're not back together or anything, so no need to be scared for that... We just decided to be best friends and spend the summer getting to know each other better. So far, it's perfect. Really really perfect. Ok, so we still have our stupid arguments, but that's just US. We always make up and get better... And mostly... It's his fault! ;)

Anywho... Have a good rest of day everyone and I MIGHT keep up the blogging this summer!

Love y'all!
Stephanie xoxox

And I'm BACK!

OMG!

How long has it been since I've blogged... Eric would be soooo ashamed of me... BUT! I am BACK! Your favorite sexy-future-nurse-with-an-attitude (oh yeah, BIOTCH!) is back on her blogging throne and ready to fire away. Well... Because soooooo much has gone on in my life, it would be useless for me to just go bla bla bla and say it all, because you would finish reading a week from next Tuesday.

What's going on right now: Sitting at school waiting for my ex boyfriend (you know, Benoit...?) to finish his class so he can drive me home... Listening to techno really loud with my pink iPod and annoying the chinese people in the school computer lab... Eating a granola bar... Last week I got my second french written exam back and got the best grade in my class by far (who was the best on the first one? Guess... :P)... I just got a new Mac computer on sale at a ridiculous price... Now listening to reaggaeton ready loud and made a little chinese woman jump on her chair lol... I am currently totally addicted to Louis-José Houde, a quebec funny person and his one man show... I am also totally addicted to the sketch "I am NOT canadian"... Because guess what? I am NOT canadian. I am QUÉBECOISE! Oh yeah!!! The provincial elections coming up in 13 days!!! OMG! And finally, I am totally obssessed with doing volunteer work for the PQ (Parti Québecois) and for my amazing PQ candidate Robin Philpot. LOVE him!!!

I don't care about the bullshit about him and his book and the Rwanda genocide... Because I agree with what he said. A genocide is when one group of people kills another and the people getting killed don't/can't fight back. A war is when two (or more) groups of people fight and kill each other. This is what happened in Rwanda. OK, so one group had more deaths than the other, but it was still a war, not a genocide. Not in my opinion, and you know what? I'm allowed to have one. And to those of you that this will offend: Bullshit, I say. Use your words like they were meant to be used. Tell the truth. Don't be afraid to say it LIKE IT IS! That's why God invented the brain and the power of speach!

And on this highly political word, I am out! I'll keep you updated on the campaign and all that!

Love you all, biotches!
Stephanie xoxox

Good morning!

Or good evening, more like it.

Just thought I would pop in to see how my favorite blog land people are doing... Well, your blog queen is doing great. No more hemorraging for me, although I had a little (HUGE) scare yesterday, and ended up back at the emergency for about 4 hours bleeding aaaaagain. But you know, it stopped, and they figured they didn't want to operate aaaaaaagain. So I went home. And so far so good. No bleeding. *fingers crossed*

And HALLELUJAH!!!!!! *cues the choir* Today... I ATE! FOOD! Solid FOOD! Well, it's not actually SOLID. It's still really really mushy, but it's the closest I've gotten to eating real food since Dec. 21st (almost 10 days ago!). I had a Hot Chicken sandwich. For those of who unfamiliar with the term: It's basically a chicken sandwich on a plate with a lot of gravy poured on top. It sounds gross. But it's really good. Yummy. Especially when you haven't had any solid food in 9 days lol. I swear, it was the yummiest piece of high gastronomy I've ever had. Mmmmmm. Ok, enough about that.

Finally, I just thought I would post a pic of the "Happy Days" back when I was still in a "relationship" with "love" and "commitement". Uh huh. Love. And commitement. BULLSHIT. Love sucks. You know that?

Yes, we're naked. Well, he is. I'm um... Wearing invisible clothes? I don't get naked in front of cameras. Me? Never. *shifty eyes* Oh, and for those of you wondering... I'm the hot one. lol. You know? The girl? (Yeah, some people read my blog, and don't even know me...)

Hey, wait... Is it mean to post a pic of someone else on your blog on the Internet when people you don't know read it? And you don't have that person's permission? Hmmm... Oh well, he can always post those um nice pics he has of me on HIS blog. Oh wait. He doesn't HAVE a blog. Ghettoooooo, right Eric? :P

Anywho, I'm out... Kinda giddy too... I'll explain soon! HIHI! It's finally happening! :D

Love ya's!
Stephanie xoxox

Life and death, anyone?

Well, it's official. My life sucks. You all know what's been happening lately with my ex, and my future loves and picking and all that... Well... This morning something ELSE went wrong. I'll start with my eyes opening this morning.

10:19 AM:

God, I am soooo going back to bed. Go pee, change tampon (TMI, I know)... Go back to bed until 2PM. I mean I did go to bed at 4AM. But first, since I can't really swallow my spit while I'm sleeping, I spit in my little designated spit thing and all I see is red. Not little fillets of red. Just RED. As in blood. Remember what the doctor told you, if you spit more than two mouthfulls, then you worry. Ok. that was one. Spits again. That was two. Still as red. Spits again. Red again. That's three. Which is more than two. MOMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!
What, what? I'm already half dressed. Mom get dressed. NOW. Why? Look at this. She looks and in about 2 minutes, she's dressed too. While she dressed, I send bimbo an email, out of desperation I think, I don't know why. Call a cab. It couldn't drive fast enough. I'm sitting in the back seat spitting blood away... Kinda gross. But a necessity. In total, I SPIT about a quarter cup of blood. Who's to say how much dripped down my throat while I was sleeping?

I get to Verdun Hospital's emergency room, it takes about 30 minutes for me to get through to triage, which is pretty good, I would say. She looks down my throat, it's not bleeding a lot anymore, so she puts me as a priority 4: Non-life threatening. Uh huh. I sit in the waiting room. I decide to go outside to make a quick call, but I can barely dial, and I'm called in to see the doctor. The doctor must of thought I was more than a priority 4, huh? Triage whore.

Anywho, the doctor is like me, a student, so she looks, and says, ok it's not actively bleeding anymore, which is a good thing, but the bad news is: If it bled like that before, it will probably start again. So, I'm going to go see my supervisor, see what she says and I'll be back. *she brings my blood that I spit in a cup and takes it with her to go show the REAL doctor*. Real doctor, who looks super mean, comes into the room with this god awful perfume, leans her very low-cut-shirted boobs in my face, looks in my throat, and says, Ok, I'm going to call Dr Ste-Marie who is also an ORL, she works with Dr Picard (the one who operated on me the first time), and she will probably have to cauterize this for you.

I'm escorted from the ER to her office by this really really HOT orderly, and she takes me in right away to her office, because she had just walked into the hospital when they paged her. She takes me into her office, she puts this super high-tech looking head thing with a light on it, and looks into my throat. Go figure, the bleeding's started again. Majorly. So she has to ASPIRATE the back of my throat with a really weird looking metal thing. Kinda like this thing, but metal.

So yeah, first she freezes my throat with this really really PUTRID tasting stuff (Pour mes tit francos: DEGUEUX!) and then she waits till I'm done almost puking because of how gross it is. I start coughing and spitting tons of blood again, so she goes in, sucks out all the shit to get a better view of the back of my throat, to see where the broken vessel is... So she knows what to do. And I'm thinking, well there's a cauterization machine right there. She's gonna use that. I'm gonna faint and scream, but she's gonna use that. No no no no, happy thoughts, no no no no... Well, I kinda got my wish. She COULDN'T use that, because the bleeding was like super way back in my throat, and she could only get at it, go figure, in the OPERATING ROOM. So... Guess what, kiddies? I was going back to get operated. Again. For the second time in 6 days. Oh joy.

Go figure, the operation room was going to be free in about an hour, more good luck, and I was headed back to the one day surgery ward to get preped. As soon as I walk in, this one nurse, the one who answered all my questions last time (just figured that out now, though, so I couldn't even thank her) she's like HI FUTURE NURSE! Don't tell me...? Oh, it's bleeding again. Well, you know the drill, get naked, put this gown on, take your jewerly off... You know. Yeah, so I got naked, took my jewelry off, put the gown on and hopped on the bed. Within about an hour, maybe a bit more, I was headed back off to the OR for the second time in less than 6 days (if you count the hours and all that, it had been less than 6 days lol).

This time, the aenesthesiologist, I was like dude. Deal, you're gonna TELL me I'm going this time. As in "You are going now". I don't want to wake up again and be all WTF? So we made a deal. We was gonna tell me, if I didn't cry. I didn't cry, so he told me. He was like, OK, I'm going to inject it now. Within 15 seconds, you'll be asleep. Within 8 I was gone. I was just looking at the ceiling and then it was going blurry and then boom. I wake up all fucked up. I'm like woooooo. Not again. I hate the feeling of just waking up from general aenesthesia (I know, that I'm such an expert lol). You're all WTF? You have no idea what's around you. You want to open your eyes, and you do for about 2 minutes, and then you're like SUPER tired. But you're in pain, so you can't sleep or anything.

I was laying there crying, and the nurse was like what's wrong? I'm like yeah, I kinda haven't taken my codeine in a while, and this really hurts... So she went to look in my dossier and surprise surprise there was some more of that yummy Dilaudid waiting for me. Woot. Some intramuscular (the one that lasted like 5 hours) and some IV which acted right away. Woot. I was all... Woooooo.

Well, my blood pressure was super low (think 85/56) when I left the hospital, I'm weak, I'm tired, and I'm going back to bed. But first, just a little recap of my dumb luck:

-I wake up at 10:19AM, and find blood in my mouth. Bad.
-I get to the hospital by 10:42, not bad, pretty good, I think
-I get into the ER and there's one person ahead of me in triage
-First person get into only triage room, has chest pain... This could be long...
-But, second triage room opens: She's back from break
-She gets it all done within about 10 minutes, I'm sent to wait in the waiting room. Priority 4? Long wait ahead.
-But the doctor thought different, I'm brought in within 5 minutes
-When residents go see their supervisors it usually takes about 25 minutes, mine is back in 3
-Specialists: Waiting list = 3-6 months. Me = 3-6 MINUTES
-Surgery: Waiting time = a hell of a lot more than an hour. Me = One hour

Joy? JOY! I am so lucky.

Yeah, my mom called Benoit before to tell him I'm alive, but that I hemorraged, and that I was operated on emergency style. All he said was "Oh". Meh, don't care. He'll explain eventually. I guess. Who cares?

Anywho, the sick little puppy is off to bed,
Stephanie xoxox

Happy Day After Boxing Day!

Hey all!

How are you all? I'm doing suprisingly OK. I woke up this morning with blood in my mouth, which freaked the living shit out of me... But then, it stopped and it was only a little... I was so scared that it was my scabs bleeding and that I would have to go to the emergency or something. That would NOT have been cool. I don't think I could go through that much pain again. BUT, it stopped, so no more freaking out. All is well.

Today, I ate. I decided, you know what? It's gonna hurt whether I swallow or not, so I might as well stop being a miserable person because I was so hungry all the time... So I had some watermelon, and I had some pasta for dinner. God that was nice. I needed the energy. My dad has been calling my house NON stop since my surgery to a) make sure I'm still alive and b) to see when I'm coming over for dinner. I'm gonna try to post-pone this thing for as long as I can... But eventually I'm gonna have to tell him that I'm just not with Benoit anymore. GOD. I don't want to tell him. He's gonna be a total bitch about it, laughing at me, telling me that I can't keep a man long enough for him to meet my father... God. NOOOOO. I'm gonna tell him he can't come to dinner because he's working, but that I'll come anyways. And then in like February I'll tell him we broke up. That should work. Right? lol.

Yeah. I sent him an email last night (Benoit, not my dad) about how I want my stuff back. I cried for the first time in a longggg time when I wrote that. I didn't even cry when we broke up... I didn't cry through that, but writing that email was just... Hard. I don't know why, but God was it hard. I wish I hadn't sent it, because honestly... I don't know if I WANT my stuff back right now. It's a pillow that HE'S been sleeping on all this time... And it's gonna smell like him... And I'm gonna get all mushy-assed and I'm gonna sniff it and be like OMG it smells like him and crying and all that. And you know what? I can't deal with that right now. No, I really can't.

Wow. My life really is like an american soap opera. Hmmm. Go figure. I thought my RELATIONSHIP with Benoit was a soap opera, like my friend Imane said... But it turns out, it's my ENTIRE LIFE. Hmmmm. Wow. I like this!

Did I ever say I was a total slut...... For attention? Not just bed, asshole!

Anywho, the slut is out,
Stephanie xoxox

Happy Boxing Day!

Hello to all!

Well, it's official! This sucks! I can barely sleep... I can't breathe properly... I keep chocking on my own SPIT! It's just terrible. I don't like it! I feel like sulking like a little baby!!! Damn this all to hell!!!

Well, there's not much else to tell. Except, I've found my New Year's Resolutions. Here they are:

1) I'm quitting pot. It makes me all... Dumbbbb! So no more of that, because I'm not dumb, and I don't need to BECOME dumb.

2) I'm gonna try to quit smoking. I know it's gonna be hard, but I'm gonna try. Try. That's all I promise for 2007.

3) No more unprotected sex. No matter how much I trust the guy, no matter that I'm taking the pill, that we've both been tested... I don't care. It's something of myself that I don't want to share with anyone anymore. I can't just say that I'm not gonna have sex AT ALL. Cuz we can't all be strong like a certain Italian babe I know and be abstinent. Plus, I know that I'm kinda like... A nympho, so giving up sex would be kinda hard. But never again will I let a man plant his seed inside of me unless it's for a damn good reason. Such as: Making babies. That's the only good reason.

4) Dude, I am so over you! With your being immature, making me cry for fun, telling me you love me, then telling me you don't, kissing me like... like that in your car on Tuesday then ignoring me?! What the FUCK is wrong with you? Are you on CRACK?! I don't know who died and said that you could play with my head like that but it's OVER. I'm done being played with by you. We can be friends if you want, it's kinda what I would want too, but if you're gonna continue being a dick faced player... Sorry, no can do. Thank you, come again! (Edit on Dec 30th: Turns out, he wasn't ignoring me, he just worked like 55 hours this week, and I dunno... Read more recent posts to understand further)

I think that's it! Those are a pretty decent set of resolutions, don't you think?

The bitch is out,
Stephanie xoxox

Merry Christmas!

First of all, merry Christmas to all my faithful blog readers.

Secondly, on to my recovery:

God, this sucks ASS.

I am in soooooo much pain, I want to literally roll into a little ball and die. It hurts to breathe, it hurts to swallow, it hurts to blow my nose (which I still haven't figured out how to do!), it hurts to lick my lips, my neck hurts, my jaw hurts, I have two black eyes... I basically look like someone had a HUGE grudge against me, and decided to try to murder me right before Xmas. But all jokes aside, if anyone IS mad at me, and wants me dead, now would be a GREAT time to follow through on that. Thanks.

I don't know what else to say, aside from the fact that I've had like the equivalent of a morning snack's (not literally) worth of food in the past 80 something hours.

I've had:

3 applesauces
3 yogourts
2 styrofoam cups of carrot soup
1 styrofoam cup of brocolli soup
1 milkshake
2 freezies
1/2 cup of cooked pasta
2 mashed potatoes

God. Seriously, I am so hungry, but just THINKING of eating I'm like NAHHHHHHH. So what I'm gonna do right about now, is I'm gonna go get a yogurt, and I'm gonna take about 15 minutes to eat it.

Love y'all!

Stephanie xoxox

P.S Hi John! :D